Helping you get your mojo back - Week 9. Give Yourself Permission

Hi, dear friend!

How are you getting along in your journey of getting your mojo back? Are you making any progress or are you still feeling stuck?

One thing you might want to consider is, do you give yourself permission to change and move on?

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What do I mean by permission? Allow yourself to sit in the driver's seat to go where ever you want, without anyone holding you back. You might be in a relationship or have friends who in fear of losing you will try whatever they can to hold you back, not always with bad intentions. Criticising whatever you try to achieve or the choices that you make.

What is it with asking permission? Even as grown up we tend to ask permission for every choice we make; we are lost making up for decisions because it all goes down thinking would x,y,z agree with us. Even if we don't ask for it, we do so in our minds! We look for validation in the choices we make because we're so scared of doing wrong and fail.

If like me you grew up suffering from the good girl syndrome, you might have spent a lot of time asking for permission; thinking twice about every other word coming out of your mouth for fear of upsetting someone.

You might have thought that people with authority, parents, teachers, clergymen...knew better than you did what was best for you, convinced that they're the ones to listen to, rather than following your heart and not giving your power away.

The truth is you didn't dare being yourself by fear of disappointing with what was expected from you, which sounds rather devious because you were relying on others to understand who you were.

Trying hard to tick all their boxes completely sanitising your personality in the process to the point of becoming a bore by constantly trying to please and be in control of the image you built for yourself.

Like:

  • The pupil who works hard doesn't speak up and sits still for hours
  • The perfect child who never complains and channels her anger against herself, sulking for hours rather than getting it all out.
  • The model employee who's hoping that working hard would get her noticed and promoted.

What you'll have got out of it, is coming across as boring and bland for sure! Tired of constantly being in a position of thinking, "can I behave like this, will they agree, what if I move forward with my life, will they agree, will I disappoint them"?  

The journey you have decided to take can be very lonely, but it's also yours and no one else's.  

Follow your instincts; you're the only one that knows where you want to go,  will put the effort and work to get there. If you get help on the way, good for you but don't let fearful others stop you from moving on!

Stop asking for permission! You're enough, and you know what's right for you. It doesn't mean that you have to live an egotistic life, but at the end of the day, the decisions you make are all down to you. Forgive yourself for the past, move on, do not keep being resentful as this will keep you stuck in the past.

At the bottom of your heart, you know exactly where you want to be with your life. We tend to limit ourselves, write down your dreams without censoring yourself and stick to it. Follow your true path, the one that's right for you; you don't have to ask anyone else permission to live your life.

You're at an age where you don't need your parents or anyone else's authority to follow your dream. You've passed the stage where someone can control your decisions, and it doesn't mean that you do not care. You just have to be selfish with your decisions for the good of others.

Being happy in your skin, where you're at, being aligned with who you are will also change the dynamic of your relationship with others. Your relationship might start on a new ground and create a stronger bond or will fall naturally.

Your action plan this week:

  • What does give yourself permission mean to you? 
  • Consider how people have been reacted to your new plan? Are they supportive, are they trying to holding you back? And if yes do you feel you need their permission?
  • Take control and keep the power to change, if you think you're not moving consider if you're awaiting permission from someone to move on?

Stay tuned for next week I will share images from a playful portrait session. We will resume week 10 in 2 weeks. Until then have a great week!

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PS. I would love to hear about your journey so far! Let me know in the comments.