The art of loving yourself

One thing that I've learned over the years is that it's nobody's job to give you permission, permission to do what you want, to be who you are, your biggest breakthrough will be when you understand that you don't need to ask permission anymore why? Because you've finally found self-love and learned to trust yourself, you will be like your best friend!

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What is it with asking permission as an adult? Even as a grown up we tend to ask permission for every choices we make, we're lost making  our own decisions because it all goes down to thinking if x,y,z would agree with us.

Even if we don't really ask for it, we do so in our minds! We want validation for the choices we make because we're scared of doing the wrong thing, to fail because we don't trust and love ourselves enough! 

If you grew up suffering from the good girl syndrome, like I did you might have spent a lot of time asking permission, thinking twice before every other word coming out of your mouth by fear of upsetting someone.

You might have thought that people with authority, parents, teachers, clergymen...knew better than you what was good for you, convinced that they where the ones to listen to, rather than following your heart and not giving your power away.

The truth is you didn't dare being yourself by fear of disappointing with what was expected from you, which sounds rather devious because you were relying on others to understand who you really were.

Trying hard to tick all their boxes completely sanitising your personality in the process to the point of becoming a bore by constantly trying to please and being in control of the image you built of yourself. Which may look like:

  • The pupil who works hard, doesn't speak up and sits still for hours
  • The perfect child who never complains and channels her anger against herself, sulking for hours rather than getting it all out.
  • The model employee hoping that working hard would get her noticed and promoted.

What you've got out of it, is coming across as boring and bland for sure! Tired of constantly being in a position of thinking, "can I behave like this, will they agree, what if I move forward with my life, will they agree, will I disappoint them"?

When you finally understand the concept of loving yourself you will get that you don't need to ask permission, you will just go for it.

I challenge you to not ask permission anymore! You're enough and you know exactly what is good for you. This doesn't mean that you've to live an egotistic life but at the end of the day, the decisions you make are all down to you.

Forgive yourself about the past, move on, do not keep being resentful as this will keep you stuck in the past. At the bottom of your heart you know exactly where you want to be with your life.

We tend to limits ourselves, write down your dreams without censoring yourself and stick to it.

Follow your true path, the one that is right for you, you don't have to ask anyone else permission to live your live.

Rachel xx

PS. Is it time to celebrate and make a big statement about loving yourself with a wonderful keepsake to remember?